Why it was established 

It was decided by a likeminded group of New Zealand mates in 2003 that too much time was being taken up by work and not in the honourable art of golfing and piss taking. Now that they were past their playing days of contact sport such as rugby, league, soccer and woman (maybe not woman). They now needed to get themselves organised so that they would be motivated to keep these important skills honed. In February of 2003 the first game was played.
It was decided by one person that the best form of democracy was dictatorship and that is the way it is run and that is why it works.
























Canterbury Covid Tour day 3
Game 199 ~ 12th September ~ Bottle Lakes Golf Club

Bangers Double

2020_Bottle_Lakes_2Day three and our last day was important for a number of reasons, none more so than celebrating the MWSS’s own GOAT Bangers double. His 150th and 65th birthday. It was fitting that 6 of the 7 Centurions were on tour.

Warming up on the putting greens at bottle lake brought our expectations of the course down just a weeee bit but.... outside of the clay bunkers it turned out to be a challenging, quirky short course and a nice sunny walk.
Ideally suited to the GOAT’s game for win number 58 some might have thought he had hand picked the track for the occasion, but we could tell by his face after the 2 shots of ouzo that the tour had taken its toll on our latest senior citizen and he wouldn’t feature on day 3.

With an impressive 74 Ernie is almost impossible to beat when he is straight, and he collected another long drive along the way as well as the Shot. BT left his best til last shooting up the leaderboard with the best stableford for the touring group and the picking up Glugs Mug as well as a dubious closest to the pin. Pissy picked up the plate, but the Trophy winner on the day was  a local nick named Dick Head with 40 points, welcome to the group and well done mate.

The most treasured and popular prize on tour the ginga jacket was won by JA but Schooner couldn’t bear to part with it and was seen in the wee small hours still proudly displaying his favourite colour.

Bottle Lake hosted us fantastically and the 5 locals who played with us cleaned us up on the course taking out the honours with the MWSS All Comers Cup 4 games to 1. Afterwards Crazy’s courty was a beauty, as usual but you could see he was disappointed that grandads jacket didn’t fetch more for the kitty and Maxwell made the buy of the night.

On the way home the minister of alcohol made a great decision to stop at the bottle store so our last bus ride was a goody and the party in 601 was a cracker and in true style we picked up a noise control warning as we traded war stories, told anyone who wanted to listen or not how unlucky we were on tour, back slapped and connected with old and new friends alike. Exactly what is so great about touring.

2020_Bottle_Lakes_150th_2We then went into the ChCh nightlife and unfortunately got split up due to restriction in the bars but we all gave the tour a good send off.

As for Bangers he wasn’t seen the next morning when we got the bus at 10 am so he obviously got treated out as he deserve on his SPECIAL day.

Congrats Gary, your a real champ.

The Rat


Canterbury Covid Tour day 2
Game 198 ~ 11th September ~ Pegasus Golf Club

After stunning the field with a magnificent 43 stableford points victory on the first day of the tour I was already planning how I could spend the $1,000 tour first place. I did have a nice orange jacket in mind as it appeared to increase your social value exponentially.The only problem I faced was how I could avoid spending it all on Saturday night. Fortunately, inspiration was to come to me sooner than expected in the form of New Zealand’s greatest ever cricketer.

As we arrived Pegasus Lakes Golf Club, sitting in the clubhouse was “Paddles” and I thought I if he didn’t share his man of the match prizes then why should I? I have never forgiven him for being instrumental in the Black Caps first ever test series victory against the English, the tight sod but he gave me cause to think. Maybe I could go for a ride of a Lime scooter, fall over have an accident?

Despite some pa2020_Pegasus_5ssing clouds, 2020_Pegasus_4the odd rain shower and a breezy conditions, as the boys warmed up on the range I was confident that my carefully cultivated 29 shot handicap would hold up. I was playing with Bromey, Brutus and a virgin “Gringo” from Christchurch. Gringo had the unfortunate experience of playing with me for the two straight days. He had taken the snake from me on the previous day on the last. When he landed just on 20 metres on an undulating 18th green, to my delight in one of the only bright moments of the day, he repeated the feat again for the second straight day.On the first tee, Bromey handed me the dreaded ‘Pink’ team 2020_Pegasus_100thball that was reintroduced after the Pro at Shirley had provided some of these balls as prizes the previous day. The first hole required a straight drive over water which I managed to do. That was only decent golf shot I had all day apart from a fantastic snap hook on the 15th. El Presidente was making his way up the fairway close to the green when I bludgeoned my drive firmly down the 16th fairway only for it to make a sharp left turn and hit the Presidential cart on the full producing a sharp thud. I was later found guilty of an assassination attempt at what proved to be an expensive fine session.

My abysmal 114 shots, won the Gnome for the largest gross score, 20 shots more than the previous day. I thought I might be lucky enough to secure the Yipsy Gnome and orange jacket, but that went to Scooner, although Four Door was reluctant to give it up, Rat was the last of us Looser picking up Grumpy. The rest of the winners I have no idea of. Lost in the haze of alcoholic alzheimers.  (PC the Trophy, Beej the Plate, Grim Glugs Mug and of course Bangers the Shot) Congratulations to my roomie Macca on his 100th game as well, not that realy got to enjoy the moment working out the winners 2020_Pegasus_7on the day.

The evening’s events included a trip to the local Speight's Ale House in Riccarton to watch Canterbury vs North Habour. After a close match Canterbury took the victory with a couple of late tries. The evening was punctuated MWSS members stealing my idea to avoid buying a round by falling flat on their faces. I was standing there minding my own business when a talented golfer, who shall remain nameless, went “arse over tit” with a half a pint. Apparently, a step appeared from no2020_Pegasus_Winnerswhere! No wonder the pub decided to close at 10.30pm that night. You might also be asking yourself why two pissed ageing units decided to take a Lime scooter along the streets of Christchurch laden with tram tracks. One gentleman found himself in A&E at 2am, with a black eye and 14 stitches to the forehead with the prospect of grilling from “the missus” upon his return. The Lime scooter front wheel will be the only thing he will be jamming into anything from a while!

At least I only lost my golfing dignity, my jacket and my gnome that day and of course the chance of an orange jacket!
Thanks to everybody for making the tour so enjoyable!

Canterbury Covid Tour Day 1
Game 197 ~ 10th September ~ Shirley Golf Club


Although not booked on the original tour, after 3 cancelled trips of my own I was lucky enough to be able to join the other 28 – 32 MWSS members for the Covid 2020 trip to Christchurch. I say between 28 – 32 as guys pulled out, others joined and AT disappeared for the last game.

The day started off with most meeting at the airport in Auckland and in true fashion snubbed the social distancing stuff with handshakes, man hugs and the odd kiss or 2 as we prepared to share our love and money with the “Mainlanders”.

Arriving to a cool 8 degrees and rain we hopped on the bus and off to Christchurch Golf Club where we were welcomed by the Club President or someone in authority higher than El Presidente. We found out we were playing at the 2nd oldest golf club in New Zealand founded in, I can’t remember when but a little way before Pissy was born.


A great course with good greens and firm fairways, what more does a golfer want except to be able to play decent golf. There were a few wet patches on some of the fairways but they didn’t affect me much as I try hard to keep off fairways. Luckily the rain eased off over the day and warmed up to probably 10 degrees and could take off our wet weather gear. I was down to 3 layers then.

Our group had a great start with Grim not getting past the ladies on the 1st tee, then after the 5th we decided to take a short cut and played the 15th only to have to walk all the way back to the 6th tee. Grim and I didn’t do too badly on the 15th and had putted out but as Hone hit the poplar on the right said we should play it again in the right order. I can’t recall whether he did any better 2nd time round but know for sure I didn’t.

A pretty expensive day for me as on one hole didn’t get past the ladies and immediately followed up with a great 3 wood air shot. Cost me $78.00 for the round of Single Malt but made sure Grim paid his dues as well. Grim and I also lost the beers to Pissy and Hone.

2020_Shirley_72020_Shirley_6Crazy did a great job with the fine session doing as much as he could to lighten our wallets on day one. The best fine had to be, hands up all those with double figures on any hole and when Pissy was asked how many “8 he replies” That says it all.

The winning pricks on the day were Maxy with Glugs mug and the Bangers Shot, Tutti Friti picked up the plate and Grandad played out of his wrinkly skin to pick up the Trophy with 43 stabies

A great start to a great few days with a bunch of good C#@%s (Chaps), hats off to those who went down the previous day, drank heaps and still managed to play fairly well. Thanks also to BT, Broomy, Scooner, Ferg, Makka, Bangers and anyone else I’ve missed for the organising of these trips, we all appreciate your efforts to make them memorable times.

My 104 gave me the right to write up for day one only trouble is my selective memory ain’t too crash hot so that’s it.


Game 196 ~ 7th August ~South Head GC

2020_SH_1It was a great turn out for the day at South Head, with 46 coming from all over to enjoy the day.  

The weather turned out great for the day, the sun was out and the wind picked up a little bit in the afternoon making the golf a little more difficult. But we managed to finish before the heavy rain set in for the evening so not bad.  For some reason everyone’s handicaps were a little lower than usual which took a bit of adjusting to mentally and made for a difficult day for some including myself securing the bag for least stabies on the day with 16 whilst Virgin Rocky 2 won with a total of 39 stabies which unfortunately was not enough to take the money.  The fact as a virgin MWSS would have potentially led to an enquiry but i'm sure he would have been able to survive the protest, and the closest behind him was 36 .

Playing with the pink ball 2020_SH_4also added extra pressure to the round, but surprisingly all but one team managed to finish the round without losing it. The highest group score was held by Ferg, Smithy, El Presidente and Broomy with 36 stabies between them.

BT then ran a great prize giving where the new MWSS logo was revealed.  Broomy was comforted about his upcoming heart bypass, he used it as an excuse, as he was caught hanging off the back of a cart coming up the hill to the club house by the Club Starter. It cost us an MWSS Cap to calm the local down.

Winners for the day as follows, Longest drives went to Crazyaza and Saffa, Closest to the pin Hone and Crazy. The Teams event as I said was taken out by 4 questionable players, It was an honest score of 36, so only par over the team, but the average stabie for the day was 28, so it shows how hard it was to play to the course handicap, which was 3 to 4 below with the slope. Anyway just explaining not moaning.
2020_SH_WinnersTo the real winners The Shot and $100 Club Room Voucher went to Batman ( 75 of the Stick) who also picked up the Glugs Mug with 29 putts. Crazyaza had 36 stabies to pick up the Winner of the Losers Plate, and of course Virgin Rocky 2 came in and snatched the Trophy on his first go with 39 points.

Oh and Real Real winners, Yipsy to Burg, Shanksy to Elliot, and I picked up Grumpy.

A big thank you to Bangers for getting the new MWSS Logo on towels, Caps, Beanies, Long sleeve shirts and Polos. It makes the day, getting something that looks so good and a bit of us.

To the 33 boys travelling to Christchurch, good golfing, and keep away from those sheep shaggers


Game 195~ July 3rd ~ Muriwai GC ~ Ryder Cup

MWSS has never seen numbers as we have had over the last few games, I would like to say it's all about the company, but the Lockdown for Covid-19 seems to have made us look a little closer at what we are about and then looking at the rest of the world, and be grateful that we can.

2020_Muriwai_4Anyways getting out of the deep end and into the detail, 48 in the field including a few of the boys back from up North, always great to have them along. Especially Kumera, who has provided a box of his product each time.

Apart from playing at the only dry course in Auckland the other drawcard was the Annual North V South, Ryder cup day. North had taken it out for the last two years, and it looked like it was going to be another walkover, looking at the form going into the day.

We didn't get off to a great start. Unfortunately, just as the first group was to tee off, a guy had what was thought to be a hart attack after just teeing off in front of them. He was in the middle of the fairway, so not to sure what set him off. Anyway, the fire brigade, ambulance, and the pro where all on hand, and the guy was taken away to be checked. We finally got started 30 minutes later, and the funny thing is the hart attack guys mates played on.

2020_Muriwai_Winners_1To the golf: The course was in excellent nick, as it always is, and the weather was mild, so nothing to blame there. To for the matchups: Scooner had done a great job, there was classic headbanging going on everywhere. Cheif and Yam Boy up against Hone and Jono. Ferg and TJ up against Batman and 4 Door. Rat and Schmidt up against Bede and Hatt. Crazy and Suckling Kumera taking on Hammer and Scooner It was nasty all over the field, blood was spilt, friendships were broken, clubs were thrown and then they had a beer and all but the memory of the first South win was forgotten. Yes the South rose up from a two year thrashing and thumped the North 22 points to 14. Where the F#$%K did that come from. They were very humble in victory... not.

To the MWS2020_Muriwai_winners_2S results for the day: The dwarfs were split between Bede Wolverine and Wristy, nobody in contention for Snow White. Longest Drive picked up by 4 Door and Batman, Batman also picked up a closest to the pin along with AT. There was contention over the team's winner who, on the day went to AT, Wristy, School Boy and Tiny. But this was a miscalculation, as when we sobered up and recalculated, we actually had two teams on 145 only 25 points ahead of this team. Anyways, Rule 1 stands, and the result stands.

To the real winners Batman picked up his 3rd prize with Glugs mug with 30 putts. Ernie had a 78 to collect Bangers Shot on countback with 3 others, but his name goes on the shot for the 26th time. To the big winner on the day, we had two on 42 points fighting it out for the Trophy and the money , Smithy taking it out to leave Mad Dog with the plate on countback.

Great to see everyone there, the Ryder Cup formate is a great one and always anticipated. Thanks to everyone that helped out with the day. Oh yea maybe we shoud change the Cup to the No Rider Cup day as we were almost run over by a couple of Horses on the 15th, see photos to left.


Game 194~ June 12th ~ Mangawhai GC ~ Brake out Game

2020_Mangaw_1Intro from 2 Guns

Playing for the first time in 4 years with the very infamous MWSS colleagues (as a result of being overseas with work) and making my way to the second tea block at Mangawhai with three of the regulars (Broomy, Scooner (AKA Puna), and Willy), I must confess to feeling a touch hungover on the first hole. But, after a difficult couple of moments, I dug deep and decided to concentrate fully on the task in hand. I went through my pre-shot routine and stood up to the ball.

Just before I was about to pull the trigger, I heard a couple of voices from behind, “Would the gentleman on the ladies tee please move back to the boxes.” Typical, this was Ernie and Rat from a golf cart adjacent to the fairway.

I was in the zone and, unperturbed, I settled over the ball for a second time.


Now I was a touch more rattled, but I decided to ignore the cries and just get on with the testing shot I was facing. I decided action was required so I stood up to my shot, and with all I had swung into the shot……………… It was an air shot. Fuck, the cries from golf cart exploded – Welcome back 2Guns

This was the start and the end – Gross score 108, stablefords 21- Still a great day and good to be back to MWSS.

Two guns  although interesting didn't cover off much of the day, but it's great to have him back in the team. But he did miss a bit about the day so in short and Bullet pointed

  • First game back since lock down... hopefully we won't do that again
  • An amazing turn out of 54 in the field, including 8 from Whangarei, led by Birdy
  • Bus trip up and bus trip down from Whangarei
  • First Semi- Shot gun to get back in the bar together works well
  • Weather outstanding and course as usual in pretty good nick even though there's a drout.
  • Back in the Club room, we took over the place, were well feed by some outstanding burgers
  • Virgins were introduced and gave weak performances but great to have, Gregsy, Honey Beez and Beau in the group.
  • Nice welcome from Club ambassador and MWSS member Howdo, you can tell he's in Marketing.
  • The winning losers were, Tiny picked up Yipsy, and Two guns picked up Shanksy and Grumpy hence having to do the Blog above.
  • Ferg and Craziasa poth picked up a longest Drive and Closest to the pin each
  • We had the Challenge cup up for grabs between The Denby Mounties and MWSS team, The Denby's Mounted us and basicly F%$ked us over 9.5 to 2.5 in match play. Bugger.
  • Winning team on the day went to Beau, Daiz Saffa and Dunny, averaging 7 points a hole for best 3 scores. Well played gents.
  • To the winners, Glug's mug went to Thomo with 25 putts, a good way to finish off a shit week for him
  • The plate and Banger's Shot went to TJ who came in with 42 points off a 73 off the stick, he's got to be gutted, thats a great score.
  • The winner was local Howdo who used his knowledge to bring in an excellent 43 points, picking up the silverware and money. He put  money on the bar and gave the boys on the big Bus some beer money to get them home. The Denby boys had 2 bottles of rum from their win for their trip.
  • Thanks to Rosco for scoring, and to Ferg and Crazy for running the show on the day.
  • A big thanks to Rosco, Kumera and Honey Beez for the prizes on the day and of course Rodent at The Clubrooms for his ongong support.
  • Bus trip back  had plenty to cover off, including a stop off at the Warkworth pub, Bede's local by the looks..... but you have to be on the bus to know what goes on on the bus.


Its great to be back out on the course, playing golf and listening to your bull shit. Catch you at Muriwai, it looks like its going to be another big day


EL Prez and Two Guns

Game 193 ~ March 13th ~ Titirangi GC ~ Black Friday

I write this two weeks after our game at Titirangi golf course, and in some ways, it is one of the last moments of normality before our world changed. It sounds dramatic, but you know what followed. But let's get back to that day.

A great turn out with 35 in the field, but on a perfect golf day, on one of the best courses in New Zealand, I had anticipated an excellent field. Black Friday meant everyone in Black and the majority got it right except 2PaC who seemed to go out of his way to wear nothing Black, that would cost him.

2020_Titi_2The club had given us a two tee start, so the majority of us left in good spirit but came back a little beaten up by the course designed by the same guy that built Cypress Point and Augusta National. It was hard and fast, and we were off the Blue tees (Club wouldn't let us off the Black), so it was a testing day, but you couldn't, but help enjoy the course.

Back in the clubhouse, all is revealed through the winners, losers and fine session.

Our tail end dwarf awards , Buda2 picked up Yipsy, but there may have been another on 42, but thats Abotree now. Beej had a nightmare picking up Grumpy and Walshy limped around the course after dropping a trailer on his foot the day before to pick up Shanksy, well done for seeing the 18 out.

Ernie picked up the Longest drive for a change, and Batman picked up the closest to the pin uncontroversially. The winning team was Hawkeye, Sharpie, 4 Door, and again Batman coming in with 117 points, $50 Clubroom vouchers for each.

2020_Titi_9To the Four big winners, Glugs mug went to virgin Schoolboy (classic) with 27 putts. Bangers Shot was originally awarded to Poley with a 77 on countback with 4Door. Now, this was an excited,humble man who hadn't been able to get his hands on winning silverware up until this point, and to add to it, his wife Carol had come higher up the medallist on her one game outing with us at New Years. But controversially, Batman turned villain and up and snatched the Shot and the $100 voucher from his grasp. He had a 76, and our scorers thought he had said he had had a pickup hole, a miscommunication but a sad moment for Poley. I can relate to his dilemma having been awarded the Green Jacket in 2018 only to have it peeled off my back... because I missed Hawkeyes winning score. Things to come out of this is: pulling together the winning scores is hard at the best of times; speak up if we get it wrong. Once the day is over, awards are locked in even if wrong, you need to speak up on the day, to the scorers and then it can be put right.

But Poley got his piece of Silver even if it was the winner of the losers Plate (2nd time in 10 games) so he didn't go home empty-handed.

To the big winner, a very happy Dowdy winning with 38 points his first win on NZ shores, an accomplished MWSS tourist he won at Wailea Bay GC Hawaii and Red Mountain GC in Thailand. Happy to get the win even if no payday.

Best Virgin Speech ~ not so much as a speech, but a joke came from Ferret just pipping Schoolboy with his honest story.

Villain of the Day: 2nd place to Batman for his snatch and grab. 1st place to the kitchen that served what must be said a delicious nibbles tray, but for $64 a tray, it was the first time I question my rule "there has to be food with beverages".

Best Fine Master~ went to of course Crazy, who had a fair amount of cash to bring in to pay for the food.2020_Titi_Winners

So that's Game number 193 done, and at this point, I'm not sure when game 194 will be played, but it will happen. Keep the faith and catch you soon, my friends.


Game 192 ~ February 21st ~ Whangaparoa GC
 The Drought Ends Today

2020_Whanga_1For reasons that cannot reasonably be determined Whangaparaoa was the only North Harbour golf club still to host an MWSS field and the time had finally arrived to address this travesty 191 games and 17 years in. A big thank you to the club for arranging a two tee start that quickly dispersed a compact field that stayed in close contact with each other throughout the day.

The drought has taken its toll on all golf course’s in the upper North Island and Whangaparaoa is exposed more than most. The course whilst hard and brown played extremely well and the greens true and smooth.2020_Whanga_4

No wind at the start of play on this challenging peninsular raised the spirits of some of the higher handicappers. Meanwhile, and perhaps unbeknown to them, ardent experienced team leaders cannily strategized how to extend the journey of their pink balls, in particular, beyond the 4th hole’s gapping cavity that eagerly awaited all whom slice their drives under the immense pressure of a pink ball. Within the hour many would fall at this hole.

Introducing Shanksy, Grumpy & Yipsy        The Winners, Ferg, Cheif, Beej @ Crazy

A quick review of the field and it was notable that quite a few MWSS lawyers and accountants were clearly suffering from workload at this time of year. Perhaps today those who more productively contribute to the countries’ GDP might prevail? However on a day when New Zealand’s most admired tight head Accountant made his virgin appearance, two longstanding MWSS Accountants would celebrate the successful navigation their pink ball, with Crazy also picking up the win with 42 stabbies.

This day shall be acknowledged for the unveiling of our three new gnomes. History awaits those who may grow only too familiar with them.


Game 191 ~ 3rd January ~ The Dunes


A new decade and a new era for MWSS, with the addition of a Visitors Womens Division to dawn in the 2020 season. Don't panic Bays Boys, "Visitors" being the operative word there, and the ladies were great and understood they were privileged visitors to the MWSS group, and they got right into the day, with a little help from a friend.

2020_Dunes_2Blustery and overcast conditions met the field of 33 assembled from far and wide – the usual suspects from Matarangi, others travelled from Tairua and even further afield.

The conditions and the course proved tough with playing to your handicap putting you amongst the leaders.

Great to see the MWSS word and spirit spreading with 13 virgins in the field, hopefully most enjoyed the experience enough to return for another crack at the title.

2020_Dunes_4When the dust settled and everyone returned to the 19th for a few quiets and war stories it was evident that most of the field had their moments where they mastered the game and others when golf was the winner !!

I did happen to see Dago closely inspecting the dotteral sanctuary on the beach on the 11th and others whose balls got a little damp around the lakes or clattered into the building sites that border the course…… as they say… ‘that’s golf’ !!2020_Dunes_5

Most of the players and their partners returned to the Turner Hacienda to once again enjoy the hospitality of Brett and Nat and relive the game and the ‘if onlys’

Logan West whom Bangers introduced for his virgin game went out early and like the first rally driver on the road swept the course for those to follow so that they could enjoy better conditions, b2020_Dunes_7ut sadly like a slow timed rally driver, Logan paid the price for his sacrificial act and returned to the clubhouse the holder of the most golf, most putts and least stabies,…. Hopefully next time out he gets a more favourable draw and can let someone else grab these well sought after awards….. or maybe he could have been handy in Sydney for the Black Caps….!!

Special mention must go to Burg who volunteered to join the 3 ladies in their group for the round & was seen countless times offering them course management and life advice during the round. Needless to say, these ladies will be wiser for the experience and looking at their scorecards his caddying skills worked as the cards of Sheryn, Carol and Jude were a lot flasher than many of the men’s field.

2020_Dunes_82020_Dunes_102020_Dunes_winnersWinnners for the day were:

Visiting Womens Division:

Longest Drive – Carol Jamieson

Closest to the Pin – Sheryn Parry

Overall Winner – Carol Jamieson – 37 points

Mens Division:

Longest Drive – 3rd Crazy 17th Matzi

Closest to Pin – 7th JA 18th Olly Wolf

Most Golf – Logan West

Most Putts – Logan West – 44

Least Stabbies – Logan West – 14

Best Gross – Bangers Shot – Bangers 79

Plate – Wolverine 36 points - countback

Glugs Mug – Mower Man 27 putts - countback

MWSS Trophy - BT – 37 points

Team Winners – combined stabbies – BT/Saffa/Macca/Rob 138 points.

The first game of the decade done, onward towards 2030…. And the next game in February likely to be Whangaparaoa – which will tick off every course in Harbour ..

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