Press Releases-MWSS GOLF

Press Releases

2nd November ~ Clarks Beach GC


Waiting_for_there_turn$15 Fridays sounded great and in the end tempted 13 onto the bus and the Southern Motorway down to the little community of Clarks Beach to catch up with Grim the defending champ at one of his locals.  Also there was our big Westy mate Andy who is wasn’t allowed to come on the bus this trip (say no more she is always right). Giving us a team of 15, we are still not sure what happened to the Hammer which was supposed to be our 16th. I’m sure the mystery will be solved at the next fine session he turns up to.


Now Clarks Beach GC is one of those small  gems  of a club that was in great condition, you wouldn’t call it long but it has some great holes that would definitely be played a little different second time around.  Some great holes down the back that run along the banks of the Manukau that were looking a million dollars when we played them, but unfortunately they lost their gloss a bit when the tide went out.


The field was totally mixed up this time around with hopefully every one getting to play with someone new, there didn’t seem to be any mis-matches looking at the scores and everyone was still talking at the 19th, so all good. 


I threw a curve ball out there and made the ECB boy Ferg the Fines Master and you could tell that he had done it before bringing in a some nice heated debates on issues of contention including paying out at the fine season. … interesting.  We had 7 play to their handicap or better, Thomo came in with least stabies, it would be rude of me to say how low he was but it cost him $12 which also awarded him the Played like a Sheila award.  Putts varied from 41 to 30 with Hone picking up the Putted like a Sheila and Brutus (finally winning something) picking up the Glugs mug at the other end.  Bangers regained the Best Gross trophy named after him with a nice 72. Big Andy believe it or not picked up the plate one point behind on 39 the overall winner with a money day score of 40 points was  Grandad and he was very generous over the bar but I believe he escaped with enough to buy something special for his golf bag.


 A big thank you to Bangers for throwing together some prizes for the day, the kitty added to it and included a bottle of rum consumed  on the bus trip home. Finishing early we decided to run for home before the traffic turned to Sh@#t and discovered we had someone amongst us with a smaller bladder than I. Unfortunately I can’t name him or what he relieved himself in but I won’t be drinking out of bangers shot any time soon which I was amazed to see him do 10 minutes after he relieved himself.  

We had a great time at the Stafford wine bar before onto the Poe and for some into town. Another enjoyable day with great guys … catch you at the next day.


The El Presidente




28th September ~ Huapai GC


I put the death curse on the weather with my comments last month and we played at times in what you would call a heavy drizzle, but enough to keep the edge off a great day of golf.  Now with the inclement weather I am pleased to say we are made of good stuff with all turning up giving us a field of 19 for the day.


Considering the rain and recent renovations, the greens were in good order with reasonable pace, fairways were good but there is always too much rough. No bus required for this trip just 15 minutes away from most. But on the course Rod contemplated pulling out or getting a cart half way round complaining about his knee, or was it his hip, no it was his elbow. Whatever it was, his mates weren’t listening and he did complete the round. Well done the Blue crew.


Back in the club house the wet gear was quickly exchanged for number ones and a few beverages were consumed before getting into fines. There was the usual accusations and long winded stories given in prosecution and defence, the funny thing is we have some real want to be lawyers in place but the real lawyers’ sit back and say little, maybe they know they can’t charge by the 6 minute increment. 


The biggest fine of the day went to Rod as he played 15 strokes over his handicap at a $1 a point that hurt the big guy, but he did pick up the Played like a Sheila for his pain.  Beffy finally turned up but struggled with the greens and with 41 of his gross 96 made up by putts he knows where the practice is needed, but he picks up the Putted like a Pig for his efforts.  At the other end of the spectrum on the greens Macca and Dark horse putted only 26 times, Macca picking up Glugs Mug on count back. He also picked up Bangers Shot hitting a great 76 off the stick.  Now there was a bit of confusion on who picked up the Plate as you know you can’t win it if you have been the real winner (the MWSS Trophy) in the last 12 months but out of the confusion Hone emerged the true winner with 39 points.  But there can only be one winner and for the second time in a row the Boy from the south comes through this time taking the money with an excellent 40 points, well done Grim.


With food consumed and  a bit of Grim’s well-earned money spent over the bar, the day ended earlier than usual but all in all still good to catch up.


The El Presidente


MWSS ~Friday 31st August 2012 ~Maungawhai GC


 Middle of winter, it had been raining for what seemed months and we catch a break in the weather and a course that is being prepped for a national Ladies tournament, what are the odds. The day started off brilliantly with all 19 who had signed up, 16 turned up on the bus, for me a great start no stress.  We had 6 pickup spots to accommodate our group and all went to schedule.


Hone_at_the_18thWhen we got there the vision of the course was enough to get a true golfer excited and the $25 green fees made it even better. We were joined by Mike Howard a member of MWSS and of the clubs hierarchy, he played with the most devious bunch I could find and still enjoyed himself so all good.


As I said the course was being prepped for a big Ladies tournament and was in great nick, the fairways were firm the greens were fast especially on the downward slope that did damage to many a putting scores. The weather was perfect not hot, not cold but altogether a good reason to be out on a golf course.


I took the lead with a 3 ball with Johnny Coggan and JA (good to see him back) and had time to shower, have a sleep and drink a couple of beers before the next 4 ball rolled in. The excuse being for slow play “why would you hurry, when all is good in the world and on the golf course” how do you argue that kind of logic? When we did get everybody in the scores and stories provided echoed this as a great day to be out but a hard day to score well.


The average stabies for the day was just over 30, with Boba catching the Sheila head cover with only 22, Hone picked up Putting award for most with a nice 41 putts which had a huge negative on his score. Bangers showed his true form yet again coming in with 26 putts for the Mug and 79 off the stick for the Bangers Shot. Broomy got his name on the plate for the first time since May 2008 with a close 37 stabies just ahead of Jam Boy on 36 points. But the big winner on the day went to  Grim who scored 38 points and the trophy, unfortunately no $$$$. He deserved something for bringing in such a great score on such a testing course… so we let him shout us at the Puhoi.


The_dodgy_bus_driverWe had a feed at the club house, filled the coffers with fines mainly from a fine for each point under 36 stabies and a few stories and accusations. Mike made a nice speech to fulfil his duties as club attaché to MWSS, then we made a beeline for the Mangawhai tavern for a quiet beer. A quiet and quick beer it was as we were the only ones there. Not so at the Puhoi … with quart bottles the call. A few stories could be told about that pub stop , the trip home and the 3 hours after but it won’t. Some things that happen on tour should stay on tour!


The El Presidente

MWSS – Omaha Fri 15th June


As so often happens … without solid leadership and direction … it all falls apart, and so it was with the MWSS venture to Omaha. Despite being there at the bus at 6.45am BT wasn’t on-board for the day and the wheels fell off immediately.


Four of us waiting for the departure, we could have stolen a buggy from the nearby course & driven up … though in fairness it was that bloody cold that we would have wanted doors & air-con fitted.

So after a few frantic phone calls we sorted that Bangers & Ferg had headed north to join Kev at Silverdoller for the pickup, Ernie was still delivering the last of his milk bottles and Leylow had just come up short … again!  So off we headed en-route … Hatt decided he would head up with Boba & Macca in the car & the BIG A and Jamboy were also on their own tour.


When we arrived and sorted the numbers,  we had a nice even 12 to share the spoils of a lovely day & pristine course. The pros headed off first and the hackers brought up the rear. But the sun finally came out and Ferg showed why he will be a threat from the Bays to the dominance of Ernie (FTP) & Bangers (LTC) with a well compiled score. Best gross 77 (Bangers Shot) and most stabbies 38 (MWSS trophy), he headed off his partner in crime from our four, burglar Mox on a 21 handicap… (at least he was warm in his balaclava and stockinged head!!) he had an admirable 37 points & picked up the Plate.. it’s no wonder that Boba and I lost the match 5/4 … they were the top two stabbies and we were 2 of the 3 bottom!!


I would say the wheels fell off our game, but to be fair… I don’t think that they were ever on, especially in my game as I chopped my way around 18 holes. Needless to say I could raise my hat to the pavilion well before we got to the last tee.  Other notable performers were Matt Mc who picked up Glugs Mug & Kevin who picked up at least 22 stabbies ... I was hardly going to give it to myself or my partner who also had only 22 points…. at least I was consistent… with 11 points on each 9!!!!


The bus trip home was relaxed…. 4 seats each to stretch out and enjoy the duelling guitars of Matt & myself… a nice little interlude at the Warkworth pub and a couple of quiets on the bus. It’s the first time we have jumped off the bus to buy a 6 pack to go around all the boys …. Ok.. so it was a 15 pack ... and we still had some left over when we hit the Poe.


Other highlights were Matt testing the public transport system by using buses and trains to get to the Poe… and Hatt using most of the clubs in his bag to move the ball from the rough in 4 shots from the same spot (ok Hatt ... literary license there… I am told it was only 3!!!!)


So come back El Presidente – all is forgiven – not only do I have to give myself an uppercut for my golf… but managed to leave the putting cards in the bus!!!


But for most that made the effort.. the day was enjoyable.. a game of golf, a few beers and a couple of laughs always beats work…..the $$s weren’t collected so the kitty looks healthy for the next game. (we didn’t manage to lose or spend it BT).


See you next time when BT is back at the helm and it all works like clockwork again!!






Masters Monday ~ Friday April 30th ~North Shore Golf Club


It was such a great outing last year we decided to do it again, unfortunately the Masters Monday fell on Easter Monday and too many people were on holiday so it was put back a couple of weeks so we could get the numbers. A good turnout of 21 to play on a well set up North Shore Golf course.


First up a bit of breakfast in the club house before heading out, always good to catch up with people before getting your ass kicked by them on the course. As I said … the course was great and the weather was not bad and the golf seemed to move along nicely. I got back in the last 4 ball to find Macca doing a great job of running the show, warming his way into the El Presidente Role for the MWSS Tiki Tour to Aussie on the Sunday. Fines were quick and easy with a number of guys getting off reasonably lightly and others hit hard but that’s life.


To the winners Putted like a Pig with an outstanding 40 putts went to Des, the Sheila went to Ferg who only scored 26 stabies. The real winners were Don who picked up the plate with 38 stabies and Ernie picked up Glugs mug with only 29 putts. Bangers got back his shot hitting a great 76 off the stick but the new winner of the Green jacket for the year the MWSS trophy and the money was Slim himself Neville Harper coming in with 41 stabies, that boy definitely knows when to fire, and he continued to fire at the bar for the boys.


 A great day!



The El Presidente




Day 5 Tiki Tour March 29th 2012~ Brookwater


Unfortunately what goes on tour stays on Tour but by this time I would hazard a guess that the guys were pretty tired, the money was running out but they had a shit load of fun. In saying that the records show that Bangers picked up the MWSS trophy and the Shot with 35 stabies coming in with 76 off the stick , Hone picked up the Plate with 28 stabies, and Ernie picked up the Mug with 29 putts.


The El Presidente



Day 4 Tiki Tour March 28th 2012 ~ Royal Pines


Unfortunately what goes on tour stays on Tour but I know one hell of a lot of photos were taken but not one was provided to the El Presidente for publication. But what the records show is that Cat got sick of playing second fiddle and stepped up to win the Trophy with 33 stabies Hone stepped up again to be the brides maid for the second time picking up the plate with 28 points, Bangers not releasing hold of his Shot with a nice 82 and Leylow picked up the mug with 27 putts. It must have been good because we have no further information


The El Presidente



Day 3 Tiki Tour March 27th 2012 ~ Hope Island


Unfortunately what goes on tour stays on Tour but I know they would have had a real great day as Hope Island is a beautiful course with a nice bar to finish off. But the records showed that Hatt had his day of glory picking up the MWSS trophy with 33 stabies his first time holding the silverware aloft.  Cat moved for the second time on tour to pick up the Plate with 26 stabies, Bangers holding on tight to that oversized bullet with 83 and the Phat finished of the winners with Cup with 30 putts. All in all they played golf then got pissed if I guess properly.


The El Presidente



Day 2 Tiki  Tour March 26th 2012 ~ Robina Woods


Unfortunately what goes on tour stays on Tour but I do know this is a well-constructed course because Dean Michie one of our members helped construct it back in the 80s. I would like to know how the course played but all the records show is that Jam Boy was on fire and with a huge 32 points picked up the Trophy, Hone picked up the Plate with a close 30 points Bangers was greedy and picked up the shot again with 79 of the stick and the Mug putting only 27 times.


The El Presidente



Day 1 Tiki Tour March 25th 2012~ Sanctuary Cove


Unfortunately what goes on tour stays on Tour but what I do know is that there are 10 people on this tour led by Macca, there was Bangers, Ernie, Hone, Hatt, Cat, Jam Boy, Leylow, The Phat and Boba. Not one of them would tell us what happed so I have had to fill in the gaps. Sanctuary Cove was the first game straight off the plane and the records show. That Macca was gifted the first Trophy because he organised the tour … the guys letting him in with a 31 stabies, Cat held back to take the plate with 29 and Bangers was awarded Bangers Shot for his 79 off the stick and the Mug for only having 27 putts. After a few beers they were off to the basketball to watch the Breakers take on Gold Coast in the semi-finals unfortunately the Breakers lost.



The El Presidente



March 23 2012 ~ Muriwai Golf Course


On this day we were supposed to play at Waitemata GC to tick off another golf course on our list unfortunately for 2 days prior it persisted down and the call was made to move the Day to Muriwai, a hard and fast track in any weather. Unfortunately the message didn’t reach Hone and he was waiting on the tee at Waitemata but when he found out he made the mad dash and caught the final four just teeing off.


Now the course was in great shape and Ernie made the best of it putting together a great round to Pick up the shot and the Trophy with a 73 scoring 40 points. A very good score on some slippery greens.  Grizzler was the only other one to pick up a prize picking up the Plate with 38 stabies and the Mug with 22 putts which is a record for the completion. After only a few beers we called it a night as we were all driving but all in all a good warm up for those heading off to Aussie 2 days later for the MWSS 2012 Tiki Tour to the Gold Coast.


The El Presidente

Warkworth Golf Club - February 17th 2012

IMG_0739A virgin golf club for the MWSS and the weather wasn’t looking flash, but all 17 were keen to continue so the bus was given the go ahead.  Four pick up spots and three different groups doing breakfast before being picked up.  It saved some bus time that we could have at the end of the day so we didn’t have to rush back.

Warkworth is just over an hour from Auckland even in a bus, so we arrived with time for a practice putt and catch up. The course is a great little country course that has a bit of everything, a bit of water, some ugly bunkers, some mountains to climb and some long flat wide fairways,  a bit of something  for everyone. The course was dry and the greens were good.

Now the weather that threatened looked ugly and at times sounded ugly but apart from a couple of drops of rain it was perfect golf weather. So we started with three 3 balls off Grim, Grandad, and 4 Door and then Nev, Broomy, Leylow and then Big Andy, Schooner and Crazy. Followed by two 2 balls first Bangers, Hatts, Mox, Kevin Kennedy with my 4 ball at the tail with Ferg, Boba, Wristy and me Rocky. A mixed field if ever I’ve seen one.

IMG_0773Now the pace of the game was good after a little jibing from some quarters about individuals pass of play in previous games.  So to get up and sit on the excellent balcony provided, get a burger and chips downed with a few beers with 4 and half hours was a great start to the formal proceedings.

Fines were reasonably light due to the fleecing the group got at the Dunes, but it still took a bit of time to collect the money for the Calcutta, Bus, Snakes, game fee and of course fines.

IMG_0777To the winners on the day “Putted like a Pig” almost breaking 40 went to virgin Kevin Kennedy, “Played like a Sheila” with a messy 31 stabies went to Grim.  “Best Gross” went to 4 door hitting a 77, he had 2 twos on his card which helped. The” MWSS Trophy” came down to a count back, both Boba and Grandad sitting on 41 stabies so both in for the money. Boba took it out on count back, the trophy and the $800 leaving poor Grandad with the plate.

IMG_0779A great day of golf about to lead into a nice bus ride home, time for a couple of quart bottles and 1, 2 or for some 3 drams to go with them, the usual antics at the Puhoi and we are heading home.

The El Presidente


The Dunes ~ January 3rd 2012

The plan was to play the Lakes golf course at Paunui, but unfortunately the wettest Christmas in living memory put that to bed. So plan B was put in place and we headed to The Dunes, the Sand based course at Matarangi. It actually worked in our favour number wise as many of those that were down to play at the Lakes had pulled up tent early and headed back to Auckland. What we did get was a number of locals play and added to Ernie and the Chief driving down from Auckland that morning and a couple of groups coming from as far as Paunui, we ended up with a great field of 28.

All the groups must have been eager to play as we got the 7 four balls away in just under 40 minutes. The weather was unbelievable compared to what we had the sun was out and the course was dry, there was a good cover on everything. The greens were a little slow but most came to terms with it. The call was made (not to sureby who) to play off the back tees which took an edge of the fun element but it did really put everyone in the situation of playing a new course for the first time, even for the locals.

Bangers_at_the_4thNow I was in the last group in, so a big thank you to Crazy, who sorted the mess out of the cards, was fine master and master of ceremonies, to Broomy for sorting the money. Thanks to Chief for taking a fall to lighten the day and also to his surrogate child Rat, for something I hope to never see on a MWSS again let alone participate in (Enough Said)!!

The Fines and prize giving was as entertaining as usual, even if we did get a bit carried away with the fines. Now it was a day of extremes, at the low end Ernie had a day from hell, usually a contender for the Trophy or Bangers Shot, he picked up The Sheila forthe lowest stabies. At least Craig Jolliffi’s excuse was he hadn’t played for over a year when he picked up the Putting like a Pig. At the other end I had a great day with the putter hitting 21 less buts than Craig to pick up Glugs Mug. Bangers Shot came to a 3 way tie between Mark Calendar, Greg Bramwell and Bangers all on 84. Count back gave it to Mark but Mark decided he wanted to have a shootout with the other two to show his true skills which he did on the 18th and still retained the Shot.

Brams didn't go home empty handed (actually he did because the plate wasn't there Larry), his outstanding 38 stabies off a 10 handicape gave him the plate. The trophy and $1500 went to Leylow coming in with 41 points which was an outstanding effort off the back tees and playing in the group he was. What was more outstanding was he put a fear chunk of it on the bar for the boys who really appreciated it.


We had another clean out of the prize bag and everyone went home with a prize anything from bottles of wine to rugby balls to Hedgehog apparel, something to just add to the day.

Now that is how the official part of the day finishes so that is where this report will end, but it must be said there are a few more stories that need to be told, but not in print and not on the web. All and all a great way to start off the year thanks to all those guys that came along.

The El Presidente

South Head ~ December 2nd 2011

Team_tacticsA field of 17 put their names in the ring to walk away with the $1500 that was up for grabs at South Head.  An early start on the bus with a breakfast at Carriages on the way at Huapai set us up for the day.

Three 4 balls and one 5 ball headed out to stake their claim.  Obviously the country course is a little bit different to the city courses and whilst the 5 ball seemed a good idea at the time when it includes two of the more slower players on the tour (Leylo and Johnny) it can all add up to a slow round for that group.  Some of the other subtleties of a country course are things like electric fences which 4 Door - Pete Ford managed to engage with after playing one of his shots.  No doubt the city boy will be a little bit wiser now.

Steve Williams turned up to play for the 1st time and whilst his story was entertaining it probably wasn’t as good as some of the stories the local Steve Williams would have been able to spin about his former boss and his many first times at different owns across America.

The greens were in good condition with The Chief picking up Glugs Mug with a miserly 28 putts, whilst Leylo putted like a pig with 39.  4 Doors encounter with the fence obviously threw him off his stride as he managed to bag only 28 points.  The winner for the day for both Stabbies and Best Gross was Bangers with an impressive 73 for 41 points. Vergin_Steve_forks_outThis win for Bangers was equivalent to winning the World Cup as he had won pretty much everywhere else but had not got the South Head monkey off his back.  One particular loss ate away at him similar to the Cardiff quarter final of 2007 as there was a lot riding on that game.  He was under pressure all the way from Steve Williams (40 points) and Larry (41 points) but due to his amateur status not in line to win the trophy (although he is eligible for the plate which he duly won).  So Bangers took the win by one point and the money by one point, and thus finally picking up the largest prize pool in MWSS history. Well done.  The prize giving was a great effort by Crazy although poor communication between Ernie, Nev and 4 Door meant some of the silverware failed to turn up again, come on boys sort your shit out.

The drinks at the club, plus the bus ride home with a stop via the Riverhead tavern were some very dubious pool skills came to light were enjoyed by all thanks to the generosity of Bangers.  A great Day

The kitty for the next game on the 3rd of January currently sits at $1175 and if we get good numbers could get up to the $1500 mark, this is scheduled to be played at the Lakes in Pauanui, so get your name in early

The Broomy

Grange Golf Club~Friday 7th October 2011


4_doorWell ... you couldn't fault the day or the course conditions at the Grange, the day was super temperature wise with blue skies. The course was in great condition, plenty of grass to hit off and it was surprising that we had clean and place trough to the green, the greens were in great condition although proving a little fast for most.

We had a good rounded off field of 20 playing for the biggest pool we have had $2200. Everyone was on time therefore we got away on time. We had a couple of slow groups in the field but it doesn't help when you have a couple of 3 balls following us up.


I was in the last 4 with Larry, 4 Door and Macca and it was good to see the group out in the sun watching us come up the fairway with a beer in their hands. It was until I lipped out A one footer to the roar of the gallery to give me the Snake.

Into the club and Crazy had the score cards done.  Big Andy sorted the winners out and we were into the banter. We started off with a couple of rule clarifications. Crazy then pulled some small change out of the boys before a dollar for each point under your handicap was called in, that was expensive especially for poor Andy Rayneau who as an amateur had put himself on a handicap that was 20 points out. I got shit from a few for following through with it. The last fine went to Ernie who had forgotten the silverware he won at Whitford, the trophy and the Shot.


Intos were made for the 2 Virgins to the MWSS, Andy Rayneau who we will probably not see again after the fine session and Mike Howard who is our contact for Maungawhai Heads but we wont see for a while either as he's booked in for a hip replacement, yes some of us in the field are at that stage. Both gave short with little detail speeches of their first sexual experience, I think a heads up from those that invite newbies is in order in future on this protocol, as detail is what keeps some of the group alive.


Winners on the day all with disappointingly low scores, starting with Putted like a Penguin after a count back with Sparrow went to Crazy with 42 putts. Played like A Sheila went to Andy Reyneau with a small amount of stabs. Unfortunately we couldn't present him with the head cover as we believe Brutus is having an affair with it. Glugs Mug went to Leylow he putted an admirable 29 putts on slippery greens. Best Gross showed how hard it was went to 4door playing off a 6 handicap came in with an 80 off the stick, but the mighty Bangers Shot was missing in action, as was the trophy thanks to Ernie. The winners came down to a 3 way count back with Larry, Sparrow and Slim all on 33!  The winner of MWSS trophy went to Slim, who seemed very surprised with only 33, Sparrow took out the Plate. So the money is still in place for another day.


There was then a call for a rule change, and with full agreement  from the group the pool was capped at $1500 anything over that would bank into the next pot. I will clarify the payment rules for the next game. But it is good to see that the money adds to the day but isn't the only reason guys are turning up. With that said the money is nice. A few drinks later and a bit of talk about the rugby world cup finals and the day was done.

The El Presidente

16th September 2011 ~ Whitford Park GC


It’s amazing what having World Cup Rugby on in in your back yard does to field numbers or was it the $1600 up for grabs in the kitty, either way it doesn’t matter the day was all good. Yes our biggest group to start since our day for Dennis at the Dunes. 32 starters really made the club happy as we seem to have the course to ourselves. Now as courses go it was one of the wettest we have played, from tee to green it was a little bit of a lottery on finding your ball. But the greens were good, consistant speed and the balls were holding on them.


Anyway back to the beginning, the bus is almost a set thing these days, first pick up from Greenhithe with 10 locals from there then another 10 picking up from the Poe. That left 12 driving but there were some good reasons, attending a game at Hamilton Stadium between the ABs and Japan was a good one. Not too many changes required from the 4 balls I had organised and not to many complaints, not that I was listening.


Now it has to be said it was nice to have 2 ABs in the field with the Cup on, we had Dowdy who is almost a regular and Terry Wright who lives in Hong Kong was in town for the tournament. Only Grim was awestruck, but he is from south Auckland.


Back in the club house It was great to sit down and relax, it was a hard walk in the wet although we only got hit by a couple of showers. The call was Black for number ones in Respect of the ABs playing that night and almost all complied, it was also fitting as first up was a toast to Henry Tohu who passed away suddenly since the last game, a great guy and a real tragedy.


To  the winners of the club head covers, a legend was born in Chris Paddon, playing with us for the second time, had 48 putts ( a record) to take out the now “Putted like a Penguin” as the Pig head cover has been replaced with a Penguin. The bad news is he had another 132 shots, his story doesn’t end there. Mike Moxley “Played like a Sheila” hitting only 23 stabies, he wasn’t alone with 14 of the field not reaching 30 stabies.


At_least_Ernie_was_a_winnerTo the Real winners on the day Glugs Mug with 29 putts and also the Plate after count back with Terry and Cat all sitting on 37 stabies, Grant Ferguson picked up both pieces of silverware. And another double winner for best Gross a 72, and overall winner and the MWSS Trophy with 38 stabies (not easy of a 3 handicap) both picked up by Ernie. A great game who was consistant for 18 holes, unfortunately not quite enough for the money which is hitting scary heights.


Now everyone was fed by a lady in nice leather pants, beers were organised for the bus and we were about to leave when The Chief starts working the room, well actually just demanding $5 off each player, no body argues with the Kaumatua. He has a descent wade in his hand, turns to Chris hands the money over and Says ‘ Anyone that hits 180 off the stick and completes 18 holes deserves something” a nice finish to the day. Well not quiet there was the bus back to the Poe and then Greenhithe where the ABs game and the warriors games were watched… by some. 

The El Presidente


29 July 2011 ~ Maungawhai Heads 

With the small amount of players actually catching the bus we were almost able to do a door to door service but the 12 that did grab a ride enjoyed the room and the breakfast on the way up at Walkworth. Another 7 for various reason met us up ther

e and so we had a 4 four balls and a 3 ... not a bad turn out in the middle of the winter. As usual I picked the day well, not exactly tropical but it didn't rain and the course was in great nick. A little wet in places but it was clean and place through the green and you didn't have to move far for firm ground. The greens were the leveller on the day a bit quicker than usual but pretty true. There was some great tusles out on the course but nobody was injured at the end of the day.


On to the non-winners on the day... "Played Like a Sheila" went to Hatt, I think he likes having that club head cover, "Putted Like a Pig" the honour went to Tim Grey but we have lost the club head cover. To the real winners "Glugs Mug" went to me Hymie with 30 putts on the day, first time my name has gone on the old mug. The "Best Gross" again went to Ernie hitting a 78 off the stick, bloody good golf!  The winner of the "Losers Plate" went to Mike Anscombe who beat off Birdie on count back after  both ending on 36 stabies. To the real winner on the day Crazy who came in with 39 stabies, 1 short of the money but good to get his name back on the silverware since October 06 at North Shore. He played bloody well by all acounts and was unlucky not to take out the money.


Now  I ussually don't go into the after match  to much but for those that choose not to go on the Bus and then drive, please don't

drink and drive I don't need that on my conscience. This bus trip is what you want i

t to be and this one was no exception, no pressure to drink but if you did that was cool , Crazy and Matt on the guitar going song for song the usual quart bottle photo at the Puhoi. The purchace  of a random cake to take home and maybe one round of shots to finish of the day. All good... Get on the bus it is a lot easier.

The El Presidente


June 17th 2011 ~ Muriwai Golf Club

The_mass_at_first_teeA bit of a dodgy outlook for the day, but only one phone call to ask if we were a go showed everyone was keen for a blow out and a great day of golf. Now for a compulsory bus ride we had a few take their cars, but those that did take the bus were rewarded with a great Breakfast at Carriages in Huapai. They open up early for us and it’s a great thing to kick start the day and catch up before hitting the course. As the bus pulled up it was great to see carts already to go. We had 22 starters with only 2 late pull outs, with Mesh forgetting he was just back from holiday overseas and Laylow with the deal of the century on the table. I thought it was going to be one of those days when Macca hit a car in the car park while practicing his chipping before we even started.


The golf course was in great nick although the greens were a bit inconsistent in speed with many of the group struggling. We averaged 36 putts each with the highest 40 and the lowest 27.The rest of the course was its usual links tough and readyself. If you are in the rough you know you are, although the course has soften over the years in this area.The rain held off but it did get a bit chilly on the back nine with the wind picking up, but our timing was impeccable as the last group drove in the heaven’s opened up. It didn’t matter to us as hot showers awaited and then confusingly... a cold beer.


Macca_and_SlimNow usually I rush through the proceedings, but we had time so I think I got most people thanked to start with. Then onto the Virgins for the day, Ian Philips call sign, Larry was introduced by 4 Door and then Paul Hammerich (Hammer) was introduced by Grim, both telling interesting stories as intros.  Onto Crazy as Fine master who I had hobbled down to 5 fines which he stretched out to 8 before going around the table. It never ceases to surprise me how mates can turn on each other with stories to embarrass them for money. Fines average $10 per person and pay for food and running the days costs. Im not great on the money and usually run at a loss, but I keep good books to show how it sits. Then we had a raffle of sorts $10 in, you get your own lovely picture of naked lady with a name on the back and then it is drawn out of a hat. Thanks to Hedgehog Promotions, Recreational Services and Wilson Golf, there were 22 prizes from a golf bag to shorts, shirts and caps. Virgin Larry was first out of the hat with Deloris (I think) so he grabbed the golf bag.


The_crew_before_the_finesThen onto the Winners for the day, Larry picked up the Putted Like a Pig, and Brutus retained the Played Like a Sheila for the second time in a row. The real winners well there was only 2, Ernie picked up Glugs Mug with 27 putts, Bangers Shot with 77 of the stick and the MWSS Plate with 35 stabies, a great sweep of the table. The big winner on the day in so many ways was Big Andy he was well ahead of the pack taking the MWSS Trophy with 39 stabies, outstanding when the average was 29. Unfortunately with the resent rule change he was 1 short of taking the money so it jack pots for the first time in 6 outings.


Now we had all had a feed of burgers and chips and my job was done so after a couple more beers at the club we headed off, first stop Huapai Tavern then onto the Malthouse and then onto the Poe for some more … the last I saw was Rumbos coming out, that’s when I left.  Thanks for those that came along and thanks to those that helped out.


The El Presidente

April 11th 2011 Masters Monday ~ North Shore Golf Club

 The MWSS Masters Monday is born and it seems to have been a bit of a hit. We had 16 for breakfast at North Shore Golf club, sitting along side a group from NZ Golf and another group watching the Masters and then attacking nine holes set up by the Course Superintendent who had a vindictive streak.

Thomo is due for surgery and unable to play golf but turned up for breakfast and as if it was a forgone conclussion picked up the money for picking Adam Scott , nobody picked Charl Schwartzel. So he left some cash for the bar and went back to work.

Now coming into those last holes of the Masters I was nervous as I thought at one stage there was going to have to be a play off which would have mucked up my tee times and at North Shore you don't get another tee time. But all panned outc Schwartzel cleaned up and we got away.

Bangers_at_the_6thA few late pull outs but 18 teed off including  4 newbies to the day North Shore was in great order with Autumn moisture to green up the course but the greens where just settling down from corring so a little slow, but nobody was complaining.

Now I must point out we had 4 Virgins to the MWSS format and as usual they were given the task of telling the story of their first sexual experience to break the ice. Now you think we would get a decent story out of 1 of the 4 but I must admit their story telling needed a bit of polishing. The truth isn't that important. The story about the threesome was good but I think you needed to be there.

To the winners on the day The Shella went to  Brutus who started out alright but ended up with only 25 stabies, now he hasn't hidden her she is proudly stradling his driver, I know I have played with him twice since. The Pig went to James with 37 putts not a great day on the Greens but it was only 7 more than Broomy who picked up Glugs Mug and the cash with 30 Putts. 

Bangers Shot was presented to Ernie but only after a putt off with Blair as they both came in with 78s. I wish I could hit 78. Anyway moving onto The Plate that was taken out by Ernie's brother John who had a good first up game with MWSS hitting 40 Stabies. And the over all winner on the day not only taking out the coverted MWSS Trophy but also the first MWSS Masters Green Jacket and the money, scoring 42 stabies it goes to Grandad.  He was very forth coming with the money for the bar and spread his good will around.

All in all I think the MWSS Masters Monday may become a permanent fixture in our calander.

The El Presidente

February 18th 2011 ~ Hauraki Golf Club


Ready_to_startNot many people had picked it but Hauraki was our mystery destination for the day, and another course we can tick off as being visited and a nice little course it is too. The day started off early to beat the Auckland traffic most met up at the Poe on the Shore but we picked up a few along the way down South Auckland. Onto the Auto barn just past Takanini for breakfast, the Al Presidentes first mistake as the connoisseurs  of breakfasts amongst us were not happy with the large but plain meals presented. Another 40 minutes in the bus and we found ourselves at the course, plenty of time to warm up on the practice greens and be split into the four balls. Johnny drove in from Hamilton where he had done business so that mad an even 16 in the field, great when a plan comes together.


Now the course was testing , but many of us battled with the dry fairways more than anything, but it is a nice track and worth a visit no question. There was a large disparity of playing times with the first group coming in nearly an hour and a quarter before the last group which equated to several beers and an element of abuse, which only fueled the court session to another level.


The Losing Winners on the day. The Pig went to Johnny (38 putts) and the Shella went to Macca (25 lonely stabies).


Bangers came in with a 75 of the stick which was fitting as he was the first to be presented  officially with the” Bangers Shot” an addition to the silverware for the best score on the day, well overdue. Why did I name it after Bangers, he has consistently turned up and played with us pleb golfers even though he has consistently played around a 5 handicap, he has won the MWSS 10 times, he is the first to reach double figures. And with all that said he has never been able to collect a big payout on the day, he came close at South Head… so it is because I was sorry for him… Yeah Right!


Bangers also picked up Glugs Mug with 28 putts (which he’s won 5 times) and Grim (great to see him) picked up the plate on 37 points. To the winner, there is something about buses that gets Slims juices going as he did the same when we headed to Waipu, pulling out his big game with 41 stabies, well done Nev and also well done on retaining some of that money but putting just enough over the bar.


Team_PhotoThe bus trip was another experience in getting to know people, but in short the Red Fox was closed Jolly Farmer was open, the pool table was utilized and grass was cut, and Leylow let loose in the toilet. Spoofed all the way over the bridge, with Boba loosing and Len keeping his head down. Stumbled out of the bus, remembered we hadn’t eaten and into the Poe to talk politics with North Harbour Rugby’s Management team… had to be there to appreciate it.



The El Presidente


The Lakes Pauanui  - 5th January 2011

Hatt_in_WaterThe day started at 7am which is hard when you are on holiday but the trip from Matarangi to Pauanui usually  takes us about 1.5 hrs.  Our small bus was driven by a legion called "John".
We had 4 picks on the way and 5 made their own way.  What we liked about John was he drove well and when he dropped us off he said just ring when you need picking up ... great start.
13 in the field ... Brutus was down to play but went for a 40km bike ride and played 18 holes the day before and missed the bus.  13 was ok when you are in carts, makes for a quick game with 3 x3 balls and a 4 ball teeing of at 9:30 in 4 hrs.  The course was a little rough in places when off the fairway, the greens were in good shape and reasonable speed, but it is a spectacular course with the water and the native bush. If you hit straight you are ok, but you need to do it for 18 holes!!Matt_in_form
Again I did an outstanding job of putting the groups together, with some great internal competitions being had.  We had two newbies on the day ... a new Matt and a young James, 15 years old playing off a 15 visiting his uncle Boba from Australia.  Unfortunately the usual initiation speech could not be done as the club house was full.  James said he had a great story and was disappointed he couldn't give us the low down on his first sexual experience, maybe next time he is in town.
The winners on the day was everyone that made it, but the prize winner where at one end "Putt like a Pig" who struggled with the greens the Hatt, "Played like a Sheila" Al or was that Matt, But no head covers to hand out by my records the Pig is with Stev from the last game and the Sheila is with DC from South Head.... come on boys, we know you are enjoying them but really need them back.
To the real winners ... Glugs Mug went to Matt McCardie with 29 putts, he has the stand in cup which he put to good use for the reminder of the day, the real Mug will be at the next match as Broomy discovered from his wife later that night she had put it away on his return from Aussie, we had been looking for it for 2 months.  Matt also picked up the plate on count back with playing partner Mark 32 stables. But all out on his own with best nett of 81 and 39 points for the Trophy and the small prize pool went to Broomy. He played great golf and put the prize money straight on the bar.
Broomy also did well as the days Fine master, showing his money skills in fining exactly the amount needed for lunch and half way sandwiches.  Sitting in the bar that we now had to ourselves, it was hard to drag ourselves away when we were being entertained by a young girl with a great voice.
Boba9 of us jumped on the bus, the remaining 4 going in the other direction. We had 4 stops on the way back first Tairua golf club for a beer and 1 club 1 hole game for 10 ( the bus driver was in) then onto the Coroglen for another beer at the legendary watering hole, all the time singing along to Matts guitar. Then onto his beach front Bach at Simpsons for a beer and a hit out to a pontoon 150 m directly off his place. Even the bus driver was short. Last stop was JA's for one more beer before he dropped the last of the group off at the other end of Matarangi about 6pm.
A bloody great day if I do say so myself.
The El Presidente

Gulf Harbour ~ Friday 10th December 2010


IMGP0597Now I have always steered away from December as a month for an MWSS event as it is the nutty season and most of us have too much on as it is. But with missing out on a November event I thought I would throw it out there with the pleasant comeback of one stage 30 in the field. The final day saw 22 starters (as happens) but I think we may keep it in for the future.


Gulf Harbour is always testing and with the average score coming in with 28 stabies there was no real change here. The greens were fast, the fairways were holding and the rough… you didn’t want to go there.


Everyone stayed around for a drink and unfortunately a couple had to leave early including one of the newbies. But we did get 3 up on the floor to introduce themselves.  A Big Welcome to Lenny, Al, Mr Moxley and another Johnny.


The day was sponsored by Hedgehog Promotions, big thanks to Bangers, so between him and the prize bag that just doesn’t seem to empty, everyone got something at the end of the day, from golf shirts to questionable photos. You never want to go home empty handed.


To the wrong end of the winners table, “Putted like a pig” went to Stephen Markham, “Played like a sheila” was well contested by no less than 4 people on only 22 stabies but on count back Crazy was victorious…. I think.


IMGP0622To the real winners, best gross was 80, which showed how hard the course was playing, again well done to Bangers. The Plate went to Sparrow who along with Russ both had 36 stabies with Sparrow winning on count back. He was also the first to be given money at the court session, awarded an amount for good course eticate. Glugs Mug went to Laylow who’s 30 putts helped him to overall honours of the MWSS trophy for the second time in a row. He scored 42 points and all the money that goes with it … Well done!


Thanks to those that attended some or all of the 11 events held this year and have a great Christmas and New Year and see you on the course.


The El Presidente




South Head ~ Friday 15th October 2010



Now we know people get excited about playing golf but to people stuck out for being a bit over the top DC who in his hast left something on in his car and ran the battery dry and Hatt who went one step further and got half way to South Head in the Van and realized he left his keys in his Vehicle. Now my lovely wife was happy to go up the road and get them, but on arrival she found he actually left the vehicle on with the radio blaring….. what the!!


IMGP0430We stopped in for a coffee and breakfast on the way, then straight onto the empty course with 3 Three Ball and a 4 ball to follow. The course was as usual in great order and the golf was really enjoyable . But there can only be one winner.


We had 2 new virgins to the day of whom one gave a legendary account of his first sexual encounter that will not be forgotten for a while. Welcome to DC and Critch.


Now South Head always throws up good scores and this day was no different, the only place we all struggled was the greens.  Broomy picked up Glugs Mug with 32 putts which was great going on the day. The plate went down to a count  back with Grim stealing it off his old mate Boba both on 40 stabies.  And to the MWSS trophy winner on 41 stabies was Laylow, a very happy and gracious winner on the day, contributing a nice percentage of his winnings to the bar.  As I said South Head serves up great scores, 8 off the 13 field scored over 35 stabies but you do have to feel for the low handy cappers such as Bangers who comes in with a 75 off the stick and can’t win a thing.  A couple of stops on the way home, one at Kumeu and another at Greenhithe where most had left their cars, not much to communicate on that other than I can’t tell you. But one thing I can say … organize your lift home.


The El Presidente

Hope Island ~  Thursday 19th August 2010


P1000071Day four  and we are on another fantastic golf course and the day promised to be a stink day after Indian the night before - with a lot of action from big Andy the initial highlight.  While his arse was working his clubs weren't and he was crap (if you follow the pun) scoring the day low - but such was his scintillating form from the first three days he managed to pull off the yellow cap for overall tour lead - Well done big fella!  The truth is the day's winner was determined off the course when Russell's (Wristy on tour) missus rang el presidento and pleaded a case to let him win - a memo was circulated at breakfast and constant texting between the playing groups ensured that victory was Wristy's! - it was tough for most scoring that low but Hatts and AT had no troubles and in a close race for last - and the coveted red cap - it went to Hatts - again congrats are in order.P1000089 Broomy had a double with best gross and Glug's mug just pipping Maccas attempt at a three peat.  Leylo was bridesmaid for the second time on tour but felt duly robbed because Russell won which no one could believe - nah fair crack Wristy - good effort mate.  Big Andy had the longest apparently - I didn't look, but Leylow had both closest the pins! But after the previous day's form when he put his name on the sheet after going out of bounds with his first shot and not making the green with his second there has to be some doubt as to whether this actually happened.


P1000094Two new awards were made this day - Big Andy picked up the Sheila's club head cover for playing like a girl (Bob reckons she got nice tits!) and Leylo the Pig's head for putting like a pig (40). BT was a non event all day & Bob was just crap.  Macca left another beer after the post match.







Brookwater  ~ Wednesday 18th   August  2010


P1010127On a gorgeous sunny and hot day this Monster of a course worried most of us before we even got there. The waiter at breakfast told us to take plenty of balls, and that anyone scoring 36 points would get a free coffee.

Of the four tracks we played, most of us think this was the best layout, and test.  The condition of the course was the only bone of contention, not what we were expecting, rough around the edges. But there was no getting away from it you could not get off the fairways, if you were you were in snake country.

The amount of Rocks on the fringes of the fairways would lend the course for a name change, “Flintstone Park” comes to mind. Big Macca did look like “Fred Flintstone” from time to time as he struggled with the untidy bunkers.

The Trip out:- The trip out was the usual with everyone encouraging each other by replaying some of the outstanding performances from the day before. In the Calcutta, Big Macca drew AT, and declared!!, ah Fuck, my $10 is just a donation.


The average points across the Nine of us was 21.44 for Brookwater (Lakelands 28, The Glades 28, and Hope Island 28)


P1010149For the record:


o   Best gross – Big Andy, 88

o   Glug’s Mug – Macca, 31 putts

o   Trophy – Rocky 30 stabbies

o   Plate – Bobba, 26 stabbies

o   Tour leader (at this point) – Big Andy, 91 stabbies

o   Tour trailer (at this point) – Glug, 60 stabbies

o   Longest drive – Rocky

o   Closest to pin (2 holes) – Broomy and nobody hit the second green

o   Room event winners for the day – still  Room 2 (Big Andy, Macca, Bobba)



The moral of the day.... Waiters and Bartenders are the source of all knowledge







The Glades, Queensland – Tuesday 17 August 2010


Little did we know as the Tiki tour crawled out of their respective scratchers on another classically warm Gold Coast morning – in the time tested words of the locals, “beautiful one day, perfect the next” - that this would indeed be a day to be written in the annals of MWSS history. But more of that later!


P1010073Two of the tour party (arguably the 2 fittest and most good looking of the group, Broomy and Hatt) were up early for a run on the beach. The white sands are like a highway in the early morning with joggers (none quite as impressive as us), fishermen, walkers, tai-chiers, fishermen, boot-campers etc all using the wide beach to good effect. It was a bit disappointing for the runners to drop into this morning’s nominated breakfast café to find the rest of the group tucking into greasy bacon, oily eggs, hash browns and beans.


With one game under our belts and the initial nerves of international golf behind us, the lads were looking forward to a rendezvous with The Glades. Touted as a more challenging course than Lakelands there would be an additional challenge for the day. Roomies would all be playing in their room groups. Because the aggregate stabbies competition between the rooms was probably one of the more sought after comps of the tour, it was agreed that there would be no “gimmies”. For the uninitiated in this form of gross barbarism, that means that the golfer must get the white ball in the correct hole all 18 times in the round – or die in the trying.


El Presidente, Russ and Hatt were off first. As usual in these situations most guys use up their absolute best shot off the first tee (when there’s a discerning group of onlookers). For at least one in the first group it was pretty ordinary thereafter, but just for a short period as I played my second from a greenside bunker on this par 4, I felt like the stars were aligned. For me at least, the score card tells a cruelly different story. Big Andy, Bobba and Macca were in the second group and they were hotly pursued by Broomy, Johnny “lay-low” and AT. This was to set a pattern for the day!!


What a great course this is. Certainly more challenging than the first course and, as we now understand, much fairer than that little bitch they call Brookwater – the 3rd course to be played. The Glades has it all – water, sand, trees but it also has evenly paced greens; a bit of open country for those of us that are not always straight; and a heap of variation.


P1010100Things were cruising along pretty well with all groups (don’t ask me how I know this, I just do) until we came to the 7th, a par 3 over water with a green guarded heavily by bunker soldiers. A slightly elevated tee, it was a 9 iron in and greater pressure afforded by the “closest to the pin” status. Not renowned for his distance, El Presidente removed his weapon of choice – 4 iron!! He teed up his trusty Srixon; focused; walked away; re-focused; took his stance; relaxed; breathed deeply; imagined the ball in flight towards the pin; quitly swung the club back; shut his eyes; and hit the absolute crap at of the poor little ball. I jest. Brett played one of the most magnificent iron shots you’d hope to see. With a very slight draw (and from memory) clawing into a left to right cross wind the ball literally attacked the hole. Though it was difficult to see the lie of the green from the tee, the ball pitched several meters to the right and behind the hole. With great precision it pitched and rolled back on a 45 degree course towards the hole. As the drama unfolded, Russ and Hatt were quite uninterestedly fiddling with their wedges and thinking about the shot to come or more likely which restaurant to eat at that night. Suddenly there was a cacophony of sound as the proud BT was certain that this shot, at last, would pick up a prize. The boys had to agree that an 8” tap in for birdie would be tough to beat.


DSC02505But what drama would this course and group of plucky Tikitourists deliver! The second group passed through uneventfully, though Macca was heard to question the validity of the closest to the pin marker. (What the f…, etc – you know the story).


Some say there is Karma. Others call it luck. Yet others understand the great skill (not to mention genius) it takes to address your ball knowing that there is little chance of getting inside your bro’s ball. AT comes from another planet however and, like Peter Bellis, he grimly stepped up to the mat and drew inside the pretty cerise coloured marker on the green. Some say he willed the ball towards the hole by sheer determination; others will regale that his ball pitched and took a wicked doosra as it landed. No matter how it was viewed, Glug’s ball ended in the hole. An Ace! What a shot! A 1 for 5 stabbies!! Modern communications can’t keep these things quiet and the news soon spread to the lead 3 (Brett, Russ and Hatt). Well, there was swearing and cursing and spitting the dummy. It’s understood that similar scenes were witnessed as Broomy took the news pretty bad also.


AT had his glorious moment in the sun but you’d have to say that the rest of the round suffered. Before the Ace he’d had 9 points. The extra 5 made it a reasonable 1st nine. Clearly there was a negative effect on his golf as he came home with only 2 points from the lat 10 holes! (It’s a true story). Glug could not have cared less.


All other stories of the day must pine to insignificance on this fantastic feat, not to mention the excellent shout afterwards. The clubhouse balcony is surrounded by water, certainly a fitting location to toast the success of the only MWSSer to hit a hole in one during a sanctioned event – and he has two such feats.


For the record:


o   Best gross – Big Andy, 78

o   Glug’s Mug – Macca, 29 putts

o   Trophy – Big Andy, 36 stabbies

o   Plate – Bobba, 32 stabbies

o   Tour leader (at this point) – Big Andy, 62 stabbies

o   Tour trailer (at this point) – Glug, 44 stabbies

o   Longest drive – Macca

o   Closest to pin (2 holes) – Boba and (of course) Glug

o   Room event winners for the day – Room 2 (Big Andy, Macca, Bobba)


A very pleasant few beers were had in these most convivial surroundings. Eventually we were retrieved by “Big Al” our bus driver and supplier of porno mags, and returned to our digs – The Waves Apartments – where another long night was planned. But that’s another story.







MWSS Tiki Tour 2010~ Gold Coast trip


Lakelands ~ Monday16th August 2010

  • 18 hole 72 par international standard championship golf course
  • Australia's first Jack Nicklaus designed Signature golf course
  • Cascading waterfall and tricky greens
  • Lakelands has been voted the best conditioned public access course in 4 of the last 5 years, its user friendly and yet quite challenging, for even the seasoned golfer

P1010013Great introduction to golfing on the Gold Coast brilliant sunshine 24 degrees, very professional with all the golf carts lined up with our name tags on, gear all sorted and secured on carts by the tour operator. First up team photo, then given a bucket of balls to loosen up a bit on the range after a big night.



 Outside of the MWSS comp we also had room and cal-cutter competitions, if in doubt with any of the rules or course etiquette, no problem because we had Rodney Rule Book with us (big Andy) who never failed to enlighten us or point out our minor indiscretions, with his vast knowledge. Although he did miss the rule about leaving a half finished beer on the table “Macca”.


Although we are not sure about the ruling when BT slugged a ball into a house on a par 3 (he did get fined severely however), closest to the pin was Glug (BT) on the 6th and Boba on the 14th, longest drive by a long way was Macca on the 11th.


Macca won the day with 30 stabies, with the plate going to Leylow (JL) also on 30 but lost on the count back, glugs mug went to Broomy on 32 putts. The results go a small way to show how challenging the courses are. There was absolutely no shortages of bunkers, they were everywhere either side of the fairways, middle of the fairways and all round the greens, I think at least three of us went from one bunker to the other trying to get out. Anyway an awesome course and a great start to the tour.


P1000023Room 2 won the day with a combined stabies of 85 (Boba, Macca & Andy) 


As for the after match, each room had to hoist a theme (drinkies) etc, day 1 room 1. BBQ chicken wraps washed down with Margaritas, well done boys (queer bastards).





Remuera Golf Course - July 30th 2010


IMG_0102First time in a while that everyone that said would be there made it to the tee.  No late pull outs, even though the Auckland traffic did its best with Bangers and Hatts running to the tee.  As usual (touch wood) the whether was clear although a bit cold, great golfing weather.  The track was a little on the wet side in places, but not enough to take the edge of the day.  18 teed of with some good match ups that saw some great individual battles. We had some newbie’s also in the field in James Smith, Matt Nichol, and Evan Burns … great to see some new blood along.


Now … when we played Pukekohe I felt a little underdone by the group similar to ours that had their prize giving after us ...they actual gave out prizes!  I thought that was a different way of doing things so thought we would do things a little different this month.  I was part of the last group in and Crazy (good to see him back) and Bangers were sorting the scores out. Most had a few beers under their belt so we got straight into the fine session with Crazy picking up the Fine masters role with scary ease, coins flying left right and centre.


Then onto the prize giving … the call has gone out for a trophy of sorts to be sponsored by someone for best gross, it's my feeling that we overlook some bloody good scores brought in by some of our better players, such as the 76 brought in by 4 Door this round … that's not a bad score even when you are playing off a 5, this time we awarded him a box of balls to kick start it.


Now Glugs Mug is a product of our only hole in one happening at Formosa GC July 1st 2005.  Andrew Turner had it, didn't see it as he is half blind, we thought it appropriate to have a putting cup as he hadn't needed his putter on that hole. It good to see him pick up the cup with his nick name on it putting only 29 times. The winner of the losers plate went to newbie Matt Nickel who had a great day at the office with 39 stabies hitting an 86 of a 17 handicap. IMG_0115Most days that would take out the money, but Big Andy had a better day collecting 41 stabies with a 77 of a 10 handicap cleaning out the coffers and picking up the silverware. Well done big man!


As I said, I wanted to actually give away some prizes for a change and as I did have bag full of crap built up over the years to give away, everyone got a prize wrapped in newspaper.  But first they were all given an envelope inside a black and white nude photo of a lady with her name on the back. The name equated to the same name on a wrapped prize. Something different and where the photos came from is another story.


 We are next off to Aussie.

The El Presidente

Pukekohe GC ~ 18th June 2010

A bit of a hiccup with numbers at the start but an obliging gesture from Sparrow, who was running late but would have made it, made us 16 for the day. Most everyone was uncommonly early and had time to push a few balls around the practice green before heading off. That may have been the problem as most everyone struggled to get their rhythm and struggled with the greens as well. Not that they were hugely fast but they were hard to read. There were perfect winter golf conditions, not much of a breeze and plenty of grass to hit off. Pukekohe tends to favour the slice for the right-handers, which I’m using as an excuse for my score, as I tend to draw the ball, but all in all it was a nice afternoon to swing a club. Now to the winners on the day…..  Best Gross (but no prize) went to 4-door with 79 shots - don’t you hate guys like that? As I said, the greens where hard to read - 30 putts in total took it out. Well done Broomy. It was surprising how many paid fine money for 4 putting. We had to split the winners on count back with both Umesh and Hatt coming in with 34 stabbies. Mesh took it out on count back which gave him his first Trophy win, and it was Hatt’s first Plate win, so all good. IMG_2216New rule: Winner of the Trophy picks the next course - Umesh picked Remuera, so that’s where we are next month. Good choice.

We held our usual fine session, where the usual collection of coins and arguments were gathered, everyone was fed and sent on their way, unfortunately to go anywhere north was a bit of a mission at 6pm. But again, only small problems associated with a great day on the course.



The El Presidente

North Shore
Golf Club ~ 26th March 2010


Again a bit of a wobble at the start of the day with a number of late pull outs, but no problems apart from the local boys jumping the gun, getting off before the El Presidente’ could resort the 4s. As it worked out when I did get there, the fours naturally fell into place as people turned up.  Fourteen in the field, with two 4 balls and two 3 balls.


It seemed on this day that you had to be a single handicapper to compete, which usually isn’t the case.  But we had The Chief who is playing off a 7 and Big Andy who is on a 9 going to a count back for Glugs Mug both with 30 putts (yes, the greens were tricky). Andy took it out on count back which is funny, as he took it out last time we played at North Shore as well with 30 putts.IMG_1263


The Chief did not go home empty handed though as he picked up the plate with 35 stabies, so a big congrats on being the winner of the losers to the Chief there. He was just 2 short of our winner on 37 points, local knowledge and a 7 handicap helped him to his 10th MWSS trophy win, unfortunately only 2 of those have included the Cash… yes Bangers it should have been 3 at South Head, but again no money this time. Ten wins shows what a bloody good golfer he is.  Well done mate.


IMG_1273Now as you can guess there was bit of bleating about the dry fairways, the fast greens and lack of good golf played by our “normal” golfers. Unfortunately I had made Crazy Fine Master for the day and he added to their pain, along side The Chief playing the Tangata Whenua card and catching out the Pakehas. The pain added up to $165 into the kitty, unfortunately the kitchen had closed so packets of chips and nuts had to suffice. Just on the fines they are there to make sure you do eat and on an average they are usually about $10 each player. The fines just make it a bit more interesting.


The El Presidente




Mangawhai Golf Club~ 26th February 2010


IMG_0758Some last minute hitches to people’s plans saw a perfect 20 on a bus drop to 15 but that is the MWSS and it all ended well on the day. Big Russ and Wix were at Mangawhai so we had even more room on the bus but it was a good trip up, breakfast at the Top of the Dome, Teeing off at 9:15, slight panic as they had lost our booking but once off that 1st tee all is forgotten.


The weather was great to start off and only got better, fairways were sparse of grass but holding due to a little rain the night before. Greens had good cover but a little slow. One of our quicker rounds - no Jimmy lining up his puts. Now the course as most would know is reasonably tight and for those of us known to spray the ball around it was an unforgiving day.


IMG_0789Now because Grim didn’t quiz us on trip up he was allocated the job of Fines Master, he in turn asked for $5 of each player as they finished - only 2 people even bothered to ask what it was for the rest just handed it over. There was no reason but to fill the kitty. The 2 that did ask where heavily fined for questioning the Fines Master. Starting off with the $45 was a good start but the Fine Master brought in another $107 to help with future expenses.


IMG_0809As for the winners on the day, showing it is won or lost on the Greens, 4 Door took Glugs mug out with 28 putts which also helped him to win the Overall Trophy on the day with a gross 74 - playing off a 5 handicap he brought in 39 stabies. A great day at the office and well earned, and he shared his good fortune at the bar. Winner of the Loser’s Plate would have been Bangers who had 38 stabies but yet again he was happy to be exempt due to a trophy win within the last year. So it came down to Mark Jurgeleit and Russell Gibb both sitting on 37 stabies but on count-back Russ took it out on the 2nd stroke hole. Tight finish.


As for the trip home, when it finally started, we did spend a bit over the bar but the bus driver went missing until just before 5pm, as did a number of players who decided to make visits to friends in the area and leave the packing of the clubs to others when the bus did finally arrive.


ouchA quart bottle stop at the Puhoi was well worth the stop if only to watch Boba do his party trick with a beer crate and go over on his side. (See photo above & on left the outcome.) The bus driver was pretty relaxed so the stay was a little longer than anticipated, but we did get back to the Poe just after 7, only to find Bangers’ Clubs had been left in front of the club. A phone call to the club who took them in and gave them a place to stay until Bangers organized his ex-wife to pick them up for him and yes, he did get them back unbroken.


Anyway after that excitement, into the Poe for a few beers then this El Presidente left a few harder players to continue playing.


The El Presidente



It was a muck up to start, cancelling on a perfectly good day a couple of weeks previous. But we got it right when we did go with the weather holding off and getting a reasonable field of 13 turn up on the day. With those types of numbers we down sized to a van, which was a bit of a squeeze but you got to reacquaint or get to know each other fast.


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